Bundjalung for queer
I am Bundjalung.
I am queer.
What does it mean to be
both
When they came they didn’t ask us
how we classified the genders
the fluid
the free
the non-sexual
their world only knew the binary
one sexual orientation
they knew of course
that the universe is full
of variance
not contradiction
The ancestors watched the male emu
ngurihny
Tend the nest
The extravagant displays of the male satin bowerbird
dulum
And his brother the regent bowerbird
ngadjangah
What words did they use
to describe people like us
their own mob
(who they’d never disown)
how did they enlarge their sense of family to include every soul
born into it, for a thousand generations
And if there is no word that describes me
do I cease to exist?
In some dialects
bugumwi means ‘to have sexual desire’, it’s a verb intransitive - you could use it as a prefix, and attach it to the thing you lust after
It seems crude
we are more than just the object of our desire
The adjective and noun suffix -gali means ‘typified by, fond of’
ngurahmgali – sleepy
wadjigali – talkative
nanganygali – fond of food
So in my dialect we have
dubay-gali = literally ‘woman lover’, woman-mad, ‘woman type’
The dictionary has it in parentheses ‘(usu. masculine)’
But if you add the feminine suffix -gan you get dubay-galigan = a woman fond of women
Am I just marrugan-gali
Fond of men
But I am more than just the thing I love
Maybe they would call us
jalahny = rainbow
jalahnybal = rainbow people, rainbow clan, rainbow mob, ‘the people who say rainbow’
I don’t believe in mirages
For certain I am gidjang, gidjargany
Old man
Maybe we are ngarihngbil
The people from the other side
ngaring means ‘across’, the other side of the river
The verb intransitive ngarringga- means to go across, go over, to cross over
To go over is ngarringgalahla
Am I just galagir = the Bundjalung word for single man
Would we call each other
jidja = sister
Are we janabi-nyubani, literally ‘they, spouse’
A term for non-biological ‘family’
We like suffixes in Bundjalung
The suffix -gay denotes neutral gender
It’s what they call enclitic, barely audible
Fireflies are jalngay
If there is no word that describes me
No Bundjalung for queer
Do I cease to exist?
(PS: I don’t know the answer, But I know my Ancestors.)